Oh This is sooo nice!!!

This is a bad...handbag!!!

I found someone to get designer handbags from overseas at huge discounts
Let me know if anyone else wants to order. But Sorry this silver one is mine LOL

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for order information email the picture of the items you want to: starteam144@sbcglobal.net
Julie

My Loving Friends in Albuquerque

My Sister and Her Husband

They have both supported me and encouraged me every step of the way.

My Beautiful Mother

On My 44th Birthday I asked this dear sweet woman who I am lucky to have as a mother to help me lose weight. She had lovingly asked what I wanted for my birthday (knowing she had little money, she wanted me to lose weight and wanted desperately to help me ) I told her what I really want more than anything else was for her to help me lose weight. I had signed the Oprah challenge, gone to lifeskills 411, the You Are a CEO events, and was embarking on Food Addicts Anonymous... she lovingly made most of my meals, dealt with my emotional crisis and my extreme irritability while I lost 115 lbs. She is my super hero. My friend and my sister in the Lord. I love her very much.

My Baby Sister, nepher and her husband

Supporters of my weight loss. Thanks Family for the support and whippings LOL

Love You all

My Family

My Beautiful Sister in New Mexico with her play dauther...

WHAT CAUSES US TO EAT WHEN WE KNOW WE SHOULD NOT?

WHAT CAUSES US TO EAT WHEN WE KNOW WE SHOULD NOT ?

I HAVE ASKED MYSELF THAT TORMENTING QUESTION FOR 45 YEARS.

I EAT WHEN I KNOW I SHOULD NOT.

I EAT WHAT I SHOULD NOT BE EATING.

RECENTLY AS MANY OF YOU KNOW I STARTED CHEATING ON MY DIET IN FA TERMS THIS IS CALLED I BROKE MY ABSTINENCE. I WENT TO ALBUQUERQUE TO SEE MY NEPHEW GRADUATE AND I BROKE WHILE I WAS THERE WITH BOTH FLOUR AND SUGAR.

I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO RE GAIN MY ABSTINENCE IN ALMOST A MONTH BUT YESTERDAY GOD DID GIVE ME A MAJOR BREAK THROUGH AND I HOPE TO SHARE MY STORY TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS WHO STRUGGLE WITH FOOD RELATED ISSUES.

This picture is me at the graduation. I am smiling but hiding a ragging food addiction. I was here but could not wait to get to the restaurant to eat. My thoughts are so often on what I am going to eat when and how much of it.

Its a sickness. Its a stronghold. But I know Jesus died to save me from this and all of my other sins so I remember to be thankful and never lose hope despite how much I hurt. Its so easy to get discouraged when you can't stay on track but just like overcoming we must continue and like the phoenix rise from our ashes.

Here is my story:

I had almost 60 days of abstinence: (means I had not broken my diet with flour, sugar or quanities):

I went to Albuquerque New Mexico for my nephews graduation. I was going to share the accomplishment of my nephew and be with my family but my thoughts were really on the food and shopping. Its a disease of selfishness and selfcenteredness to always be thinking of ones own needs and desires before the needs of others.

Despite everything my thoughts were on what I wanted and there there was a certain restaurant "Padadeaux" that had food I deeply wanted for my pleasure. Sure I knew it was not on my food plan... especially the Oreo Chocolate Mousse but I kept thinking about it until I made up in my mind I was going to eat it no matter the consequences.

Weight, fat, family, sponsor, commitment, food plan, FA, friends, family , God.

That is how strong the addiction to food, flour and sugar really is. No matter what I was going to eat that food especially the dessert and really I just ate the food to be able to eat the dessert with out shame. Who was I kidding?

My family tried to talk me out of it but despite having to rent a car, keep people waiting and going alone I went to get my fix. Sugar, food and flour are drugs for me. I had to have my crack.

I did not really feel bad allowing myself the food and I have taken the consequences but there was damage done. I let people and myself down. So how do I get back up?

This time I have decided to try spirituality and the word of God rather than FA. My issues are deep and it takes God and his power to deliver me. I need to make up my mind before I waste another sponsors time with my lies and games.

I realized last night after service that I first have to be honest. It is what is is period.

Sin, strongholds, the flesh, the carnal mind ...they are working and what fights this first and formost is reading, praying and staying spiritual.

So yesterday I did some fasting and prayed. My reading was clearer and service that night did deliver me.

Today I can see the break in my abstinence started with the food thoughts. Just like overcoming anything you can't let the thoughts begin. YOU must snip them in the bud right away. Today I know to next time I am attacked with thoughts use a scripture, a slogan or anything to counteract the thoughts... and FIGHT BACK! THIS IS MY LIFE AT STAKE! FIGHT HARD! BE AGGRESSIVE ! AS MY PASTOR BRO. DB SAID "BE BAD" (MEANING TELL THE DEVIL...YOU WANT SOME OF THIS AND MEAN IT). WE HAVE TO RESIST.

TODAY I CAN RECALL: What has helped me in the past is telling myself that the "sugar item" I want to eat is poison for me. The flour items cause me to puff up and I am allergic to them. I then tell myself that food can not comfort my or my feelings what it does is make me fat, ugly and miserable. Eating flour and sugar and overeating give power to the carnal mind and the devil robs, kills and destroys.

So now I understand the trigger... I was in a different place, watching people eat, I had food memories that were very pleasurable. The real deciding factor I had to break my diet was just like Eve in the garden: 1) it was pleasant to the eye, 2) good for food and 3) desired to make one wise. Basically my thoughts were that old crooked serpant making excuses and justifications why I should eat. 1) I am never going to be in Albuquerque again. My sister is moving 2) I am never going to eat this food again and its my favorite 3) no one will know I broke 4) I can lie to my sponsor and decieve him.

This is the serpent and his/her moves... This is what causes to sin or eat when we know we should not be. The carnal mind. The addiction to food... is just another one of his devices.

The Bottom Line is : Man should not live by bread alone but by every word of God.

The Bottom Line is: We must not yield ourselves to sin or to the desires of the mind period.

This is my prayer.

I hope something I have shared helps you if you struggle with food and or sin like I do.

It is what it is.

We can win because Jesus is here!

Twenty-Four Hours A Day We Fight!

Twenty-Four Hours A Day We Fight the battle with what are we going to eat. Twenty-Four Hours A Day We Fight the spiritual battle of overcoming our desires... the flesh... Its the same war with different tools. Spiritually we use the word of God, the Spirit of God, Fellowship and the things we have been taught by our spiritual leaders.

The battle with food requires the same tools with a few adjustments that specifically target the mind and the body that drives us to eat...

One of the tools that has helped me the most is the Twenty-Four Hours a Day meditation book. I find it helps me each day get a mind set to fight. To be prepared for the tricks of the mind and the potential road blocks we may face.

My most common road blocks are 1) My Feelings Got Hurt ( a co worker, a friend, anyone who says anything that I don't agree with or they don't agree with me or they say something out of pocket can set me off. I will sulk and then turn to a cookie for comfort. However I am learning instead to reach out and read something that will give me strength like the word of God or something else that deals with my issues like the Twenty-Four Hours a Day Book.

Let me give you an example: Today's Thought for the Day is:

If we get up in a meeting and tell something about ourselves in order to help the other person, we feel a whole lot better. It's the old law of the more you give the more yo get. Witnessing and confession are part of keeping sober [free from sin or eating addictive]. You never know when you may help somebody. Helping others is one of the best ways to stay sober [free from strongholds like eating addictive] yourself. And the satisfaction you get out of helping a fellow human being is one of the finest experiences you can have. Am I helping others?

Today, I had to face the hard fact that I broke my abstinence when I went to New Mexico and until today I was binging... Today I scraped myself up and got back up because I know that if I keep going on the road I am on I will put the weight back on and my life will fall apart.

Why did I do it? Just my will. I had a desire to eat a certain food at Papadeaux's and I did it. I can see how the thought came in my mind, the emotions were formed that remembered how good I felt doing this act of eating and I was powerless to stop it once I got it concieved in my mind. The will ...the desires must be controlled ...that is the fight I face each day.

So what about you? Are you honestly fighting? Or like me do you let your will and your mind have the reigns?

Step Three in AA is Turning Your Will Over To God... Thats Where I am... and my Prayer is Lord help me to turn my will over and give a complete surender. Give me the grace, power and deisres to do what I know is right to do each day in every area of my life.

Its the only way things will get better and I can have the happiness God desires for me.

Life Happens... Just Keep Moving

Tahiti...Ahhhh

My beautiful mother and my best friend...she cooked all my food for over 1 year to help me.

wow I was so huge...ahhhh

Me Loving My kids...

Me Before the weight loss

My Fabulous Trainer and Friend

My Half Way Point at Stellar

Friends Who Love ME!

Getting There With Help from God

My Mid Way Photo - finding myself - finding peace

Here is how happy you can be!

Weight Problems ARE Spiritual Problems... Read This.

Being FAT is ugly... sure you can lie to yourself and others and accept the puddgy midsection like it does not bother you. That's what I did for over 20 years. I knew I was beautiful...despite my weight and demanded others to believe it was ok for me to be obese. However those that really loved and cared for my soul kept pushing me to lose weight even though it made me furious...

In the end I realized that my weight problem was a spiritual problem and I was eating to comfort a wound in my soul. I experienced childhood trauma and ate to comfort myself. When I got married and that did not solve my problems I ate even more. After my divorce I spent most of the time day dreaming about some Prince Charming who would love me and make my problems disappear. Playing Barbie Dolls and wathcing the Notebook did not help form a healthy image for a relationship for me. LOL

However the lifeskills 411 Positive Relationship event did. I realize now what is healthy and what is not. I am learning to create positive relationships and not be so demanding and needy. Righteousness was not an attribute that rules my actions but the needs of a 16 year old girl with a wounded heart did.

God has helped heal me and I hope sharing what I went through will help other young ladies who are overly focusing on a relationship and are unhappy unless they have a boyfriend.

Maybe this reading will help:

Taken from Meditation for the Day from Twenty-Four Hours A Day...by Hazelden.org

'The kingdom of heaven is within you. God sees, as no one can see, what is within you. He sees you growing more and more like Himself. That is your reason for existence, to grow more and more like God, to develop more and more the spirit of God within you.'


I pray to grow more like God and to be guided by His Spirit. I pray my walls will be down and I can love with out reservation righteously eliminating past fears, resentments and insecurities that try to rob me of Gods joy, happiness and peace. I pray that I will find joy in life regardless of the male/female relationships I may have or not have because all things work for the good to those who Love the Lord. I love him and I know he loves me and will work out exactly what I need and when I need it. I can trust God for everything including love, friendship and relationships.

Patience...

What is Food Addiction and Why Can't Some People Lose Weight?

Food Addiction is a disease of the mind, body and spririt for which there is no cure but the disease can be arrested one day at a time by the actions of weighing and measuring your food and following a simple 12 step program.

Food Addiction is similar to any other addiction... Food can be used as a drug to comfort you or change your emotions... Eating can calm your nerves, give you pleasure or help you tune out disturbing emotions.

How do I know about this? I am a Food Addict in Recovery. I attend meetings that support my recovery and I know that using food as a drug or as a coping tool is not healthy for me. Eating is to fuel my body not a recreational sport. LOL