Thursday, June 4, 2009
This is a bad...handbag!!!
I found someone to get designer handbags from overseas at huge discounts
Let me know if anyone else wants to order. But Sorry this silver one is mine LOL
www.picasaweb.google.com/xiedon123
www.picasaweb.google.com/cnsusantrade
www.picasaweb.google.com/newestbrand
for order information email the picture of the items you want to: starteam144@sbcglobal.net
Julie
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
My Beautiful Mother
On My 44th Birthday I asked this dear sweet woman who I am lucky to have as a mother to help me lose weight. She had lovingly asked what I wanted for my birthday (knowing she had little money, she wanted me to lose weight and wanted desperately to help me ) I told her what I really want more than anything else was for her to help me lose weight. I had signed the Oprah challenge, gone to lifeskills 411, the You Are a CEO events, and was embarking on Food Addicts Anonymous... she lovingly made most of my meals, dealt with my emotional crisis and my extreme irritability while I lost 115 lbs. She is my super hero. My friend and my sister in the Lord. I love her very much.
My Baby Sister, nepher and her husband
Supporters of my weight loss. Thanks Family for the support and whippings LOLLove You all
WHAT CAUSES US TO EAT WHEN WE KNOW WE SHOULD NOT?
WHAT CAUSES US TO EAT WHEN WE KNOW WE SHOULD NOT ?
I HAVE ASKED MYSELF THAT TORMENTING QUESTION FOR 45 YEARS.
I EAT WHEN I KNOW I SHOULD NOT.
I EAT WHAT I SHOULD NOT BE EATING.
RECENTLY AS MANY OF YOU KNOW I STARTED CHEATING ON MY DIET IN FA TERMS THIS IS CALLED I BROKE MY ABSTINENCE. I WENT TO ALBUQUERQUE TO SEE MY NEPHEW GRADUATE AND I BROKE WHILE I WAS THERE WITH BOTH FLOUR AND SUGAR.
I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO RE GAIN MY ABSTINENCE IN ALMOST A MONTH BUT YESTERDAY GOD DID GIVE ME A MAJOR BREAK THROUGH AND I HOPE TO SHARE MY STORY TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS WHO STRUGGLE WITH FOOD RELATED ISSUES.
This picture is me at the graduation. I am smiling but hiding a ragging food addiction. I was here but could not wait to get to the restaurant to eat. My thoughts are so often on what I am going to eat when and how much of it.
Its a sickness. Its a stronghold. But I know Jesus died to save me from this and all of my other sins so I remember to be thankful and never lose hope despite how much I hurt. Its so easy to get discouraged when you can't stay on track but just like overcoming we must continue and like the phoenix rise from our ashes.
Here is my story:
I had almost 60 days of abstinence: (means I had not broken my diet with flour, sugar or quanities):
I went to Albuquerque New Mexico for my nephews graduation. I was going to share the accomplishment of my nephew and be with my family but my thoughts were really on the food and shopping. Its a disease of selfishness and selfcenteredness to always be thinking of ones own needs and desires before the needs of others.
Despite everything my thoughts were on what I wanted and there there was a certain restaurant "Padadeaux" that had food I deeply wanted for my pleasure. Sure I knew it was not on my food plan... especially the Oreo Chocolate Mousse but I kept thinking about it until I made up in my mind I was going to eat it no matter the consequences.
Weight, fat, family, sponsor, commitment, food plan, FA, friends, family , God.
That is how strong the addiction to food, flour and sugar really is. No matter what I was going to eat that food especially the dessert and really I just ate the food to be able to eat the dessert with out shame. Who was I kidding?
My family tried to talk me out of it but despite having to rent a car, keep people waiting and going alone I went to get my fix. Sugar, food and flour are drugs for me. I had to have my crack.
I did not really feel bad allowing myself the food and I have taken the consequences but there was damage done. I let people and myself down. So how do I get back up?
This time I have decided to try spirituality and the word of God rather than FA. My issues are deep and it takes God and his power to deliver me. I need to make up my mind before I waste another sponsors time with my lies and games.
I realized last night after service that I first have to be honest. It is what is is period.
Sin, strongholds, the flesh, the carnal mind ...they are working and what fights this first and formost is reading, praying and staying spiritual.
So yesterday I did some fasting and prayed. My reading was clearer and service that night did deliver me.
Today I can see the break in my abstinence started with the food thoughts. Just like overcoming anything you can't let the thoughts begin. YOU must snip them in the bud right away. Today I know to next time I am attacked with thoughts use a scripture, a slogan or anything to counteract the thoughts... and FIGHT BACK! THIS IS MY LIFE AT STAKE! FIGHT HARD! BE AGGRESSIVE ! AS MY PASTOR BRO. DB SAID "BE BAD" (MEANING TELL THE DEVIL...YOU WANT SOME OF THIS AND MEAN IT). WE HAVE TO RESIST.
TODAY I CAN RECALL: What has helped me in the past is telling myself that the "sugar item" I want to eat is poison for me. The flour items cause me to puff up and I am allergic to them. I then tell myself that food can not comfort my or my feelings what it does is make me fat, ugly and miserable. Eating flour and sugar and overeating give power to the carnal mind and the devil robs, kills and destroys.
So now I understand the trigger... I was in a different place, watching people eat, I had food memories that were very pleasurable. The real deciding factor I had to break my diet was just like Eve in the garden: 1) it was pleasant to the eye, 2) good for food and 3) desired to make one wise. Basically my thoughts were that old crooked serpant making excuses and justifications why I should eat. 1) I am never going to be in Albuquerque again. My sister is moving 2) I am never going to eat this food again and its my favorite 3) no one will know I broke 4) I can lie to my sponsor and decieve him.
This is the serpent and his/her moves... This is what causes to sin or eat when we know we should not be. The carnal mind. The addiction to food... is just another one of his devices.
The Bottom Line is : Man should not live by bread alone but by every word of God.
The Bottom Line is: We must not yield ourselves to sin or to the desires of the mind period.
This is my prayer.
I hope something I have shared helps you if you struggle with food and or sin like I do.
It is what it is.
We can win because Jesus is here!
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